The following came home with my first grader the other day…and I can hardly wait to share. It is so simple, yet so easy to forget.
Every part of our body helps us listen.
- We hear sounds with our EARS.
- We think and decide with our MINDS.
- We keep our ARMS AND LEGS quiet and still when someone is talking with us.
- We move our BODY to face the person who is talking to us.
- We let our FEELINGS help us listen and care about what we hear.
- We keep our VOICES still when someone is talking, but then we answer back and talk when they are done.
I had to stop and reevaluate my own listening skills. How well am I modeling this to my kids? We all say we are good listeners, but are we? Are we truly present with our whole bodies? I am going to challenge myself to do better…for my friends, my family, but most of all for my little first grader…who taught his mom a thing or two this week.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Inspired By Compassion
I want to take this opportunity to share another story.
Two years ago, I went to Toys 'R Us with a friend - living in Stevens Point, Wisconsin, that means over an hour drive to Appleton, Wisconsin. At the time I would have had a five, three and one year old. At this particular Toys 'R Us, they used to have an indoor playground and parents would let their kids romp around on rainy days.
So…a few minutes in, I discover my middle child is going to have a rough day…not sure why, but all the sudden he was aggressive, crabby and fairly unreasonable. His older brother of course decided to make matters worse and then the one year old began to cry. Then the middle child has diarrhea…not once, but twice. My hair in my eyes, my face flushed and my under arms sweating, I decided to not care what others were thinking…although I truly was mortified and felt the chaos was a reflection of my obviously bad parenting, and rushed one child to the bathroom after putting the other two in time out and having my friend supervise. I came back after clean up in bathroom one, and talked to the other two kids about gentleness and kindness, packed them up and got ready to head out for the hour and a half drive home.
And then it happened…bless her heart…a mother I had never met came up to me and said, “Wow, you are such a good mom. So many people would have lost it and you really held it together and got your kids back on track. Way to go!” I literally started to cry. The release was so thoroughly cleansing. What we sometimes forget when we look at parents and judge them and their kids is that we all face challenges. My child, we later found out, has gluten and lactose allergies, double vision and 0 (zero) depth perception…think that changes the way he sees the world?
It is human nature to judge others and feel judged, but can you imagine what would happen if we all had a little more compassion, like that mom in Toys 'R Us? I have since tried to give compliments to other moms and dads out in public as often as I can…because I know what it feels like to need that little extra bit of encouragement. I have been surprised by the number of parents who turn around and say thank you because their child has autism or AD/HD or allergies or just lost a person in their life. The point is…we don’t know what is going on in other’s lives…so let’s challenge ourselves to have compassion first.
Challenge of the month: When you find yourself starting to judge others negatively, take a breath, think compassionately and find something kind to say instead.
Two years ago, I went to Toys 'R Us with a friend - living in Stevens Point, Wisconsin, that means over an hour drive to Appleton, Wisconsin. At the time I would have had a five, three and one year old. At this particular Toys 'R Us, they used to have an indoor playground and parents would let their kids romp around on rainy days.
So…a few minutes in, I discover my middle child is going to have a rough day…not sure why, but all the sudden he was aggressive, crabby and fairly unreasonable. His older brother of course decided to make matters worse and then the one year old began to cry. Then the middle child has diarrhea…not once, but twice. My hair in my eyes, my face flushed and my under arms sweating, I decided to not care what others were thinking…although I truly was mortified and felt the chaos was a reflection of my obviously bad parenting, and rushed one child to the bathroom after putting the other two in time out and having my friend supervise. I came back after clean up in bathroom one, and talked to the other two kids about gentleness and kindness, packed them up and got ready to head out for the hour and a half drive home.
And then it happened…bless her heart…a mother I had never met came up to me and said, “Wow, you are such a good mom. So many people would have lost it and you really held it together and got your kids back on track. Way to go!” I literally started to cry. The release was so thoroughly cleansing. What we sometimes forget when we look at parents and judge them and their kids is that we all face challenges. My child, we later found out, has gluten and lactose allergies, double vision and 0 (zero) depth perception…think that changes the way he sees the world?
It is human nature to judge others and feel judged, but can you imagine what would happen if we all had a little more compassion, like that mom in Toys 'R Us? I have since tried to give compliments to other moms and dads out in public as often as I can…because I know what it feels like to need that little extra bit of encouragement. I have been surprised by the number of parents who turn around and say thank you because their child has autism or AD/HD or allergies or just lost a person in their life. The point is…we don’t know what is going on in other’s lives…so let’s challenge ourselves to have compassion first.
Challenge of the month: When you find yourself starting to judge others negatively, take a breath, think compassionately and find something kind to say instead.
Inspired By Challenges
AD/HD Awareness Week finishes tomorrow. This year it ran from September 14th – 20th. I found myself really thinking this week about all the underlying challenges we all face in our life. When Dr. Pam and I first wrote Little Jake Learns to Stop, it was with the mission of helping kids and families coping with AD/HD learn new strategies and to give form to some of the everyday difficulties children with AD/HD face. We received resounding approval for our depiction of AD/HD and several thank you notes from parents who had simply forgotten to recognize the determination their children with AD/HD have everyday just to accomplish some of the “simple” things. It was a reminder to many to have patience and use compassion first.
My core belief, my true mission, and Michelle’s too, is to make sure as a global community we recognize that Every Kid Shines…every child is a gift. And sometimes…the lessons they bring aren’t for them. We have to be open to the possibility that it is us, the parent, the teacher, the friend - that needs to change and grow.
My core belief, my true mission, and Michelle’s too, is to make sure as a global community we recognize that Every Kid Shines…every child is a gift. And sometimes…the lessons they bring aren’t for them. We have to be open to the possibility that it is us, the parent, the teacher, the friend - that needs to change and grow.
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